Agrivation

So the lady NEVER called me back about the child care job and I really want to know. My mom and Craig both said I should call again but I feel uncomfortable doing that. Craig got a new job and he super excited about it. Sheldon said they are their own little clicks and theres always parties and such. I just feel like I'm not going to fit in with his new work friends. I feel like he is going to want to be spending a lot of time with his new friends. I'm just going to have to let him go. I wont go because I wont fit in but he will want to go so I'll have to let him go and we will start drifting apart.

EXCITEMENT!

Things have been shaping up pretty nicely. Craig and I celebrated his birthday yesterday down at the Lake. We rode around in paddle boats, grabbed some ice cream, and just enjoyed eachothers company laying around having a picnic. Another great thing is I finally looked into certification for early childhood education. It might not be what I want to do forever but I love kids so it will be a great income until I figure out what I want to do for sure. I was thinking of applying for a University around here and taking night and online classes so if I get a preschool job I'll be able to continue with that and still work on my education. If I go back to school in the fall I think I will mostly take the general classes for education and then later decide for what age group and what major. I hope things keep rolling along smoothly like this. I deserve it! I feel like I was in a grey spot for awhile so hopefully this is my smooth shiny road :)

WANT

I just want to be happy.
I just want to be unemotional.
I just want to be able to have a good day.
I just want to be able to love him every day.
I just want to not doubt myself.
I just want to know what my life's purpose is.
I just want a reason.
I just want a WHOLE NEW ME.

Questions.

So many questions! I am not good at writting especially when it's about a specific topic. My mind wonders. So here is my idea: for the next few days I will be updating this blog by putting my questions in. Life is changing. I can feel it starting to happen so maybe by writting these questions I will actually see them get answered :)